Indulge 5 (On Marriage)

Why would anyone want to marry someone that eats onions?

I wonder what y’all gain from eating onions. Can never be me or my future husband. In fact, it has to be a first-date question. Do you like onions? If he says yes, I stand up and walk away never to turn back. The only reason I would marry someone that eats onions is if he likes BTS, no two ways about it. I know you’re entitled to your own likes and dislikes but not with onions. That ingredient needs to scrape out of the face of this earth. PERIOD! 

ON MARRIAGE

My recent thought and manual to life have been to not follow the rules. Or rather, set your own rules and go with it, as long as you’re happy and you are not hurting anyone. 

It is a requirement as Africans that you have to follow in the footsteps your past generation created. And as African girls, the footsteps always goes like this - Childhood - Strict training - Cooking skills - Weird teaching about the opposite gender - School - Marriage. It is weird how all this process that we go through as an African girl child has little effect on us when we meet our peers or get into the university. 

I’m going to skip all those processes for now and just briefly talk about the marriage part. 

Why must marriage be such an important necessity in our lives? Why do we have to co-exist with a “stranger” and pretend to love ourselves for the rest of our lives? Is this a must? Why should marriage hold so much on us? 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying marriage is such a bad thing. All I’m saying is, do we all have to follow the rules though? Why should there be a stigma on a lady that chooses not to get married? Life is filled with choices they said, why do I have to be judged for the one I make? 

It is no news that the divorce rate in our generation is alarming, which is true but see, If you get married to someone and later find out that you can’t co-habit with this person, you have every right to walk away. No one deserves to live in pain. 

Everyone keeps saying our generation is a failure when it comes to marriage compared to the older generation. But unlike the older generation, I see a generation that is not ready to stay in a marriage filled with pain or suffering because of the mockery or stigma they would get from people outside. I see a generation that’s ready to pick up their shit and walk away, a generation that is ready to choose their happiness and peace of mind over suffering and disrespect. 

It is not a must to get married. It is not a must to get married and stay in it when you’re not happy. It is not a must to follow the crowd. The world is messed up. Choose to pick yourself over and over again, because in the end we are all going to die and none of all this would matter. 

Also, marriage can work perfectly fine. Your marriage can be beautiful. Your marriage would be beautiful. Don’t just suffer inside because you want to prove something to the world. The world you’re trying to show your happy marriage to does not care. You are the one going through hell, not them. You won’t be hurting the universe by stepping out of a repeated hurtful marriage, you would only be giving yourself a chance at a happy life.

Now, I’m not saying your marriage needs to be perfect, it shouldn’t be perfect or smooth, there are definitely going to be some ups and downs, which is normal. Just know when to walk away if the disrespect or abuse becomes too much. 

With that, I honestly wish everyone that wants to get married a happy marriage. I hope you get married to someone that not only loves you but understand, respect and communicates clearly with you. 

Marriage is great but it is not a do-or-die affair. Stick with what works for you. 

TMI

Recently I visited one of the classy hotels in Jabi, Abuja and it is safe to say that my hatred for bread, tea, and baked beans goes beyond the limit because I never want to eat this again. As breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Thank you!