Life Update

I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I told myself I wouldn’t start this newsletter with another apology. I do that all the time. So, no apologies for ghosting you.

Fun fact: I’ve realized I can’t write unless I’m sad. A little weird, right? But it’s true—sadness (and maybe a little anger) fuels my creativity. I’m not sad right now though. I felt today should be the day I open this app and write something for you guys by all means. Give you a little life update yunno.

Also, y’all are stuck with me, sorry!

One of my goals this year was to go out more. (It’s always my goal every year😭) Did I go out more? Absolutely not! Have you seen fuel prices lately? Going out is ridiculously expensive, bruv! You will only catch me outside if there’s a household refill that needs to be made or when I’m taking my morning/evening stroll around my estate. Outside is a luxury, please.

I now weigh 71 kg… isn’t that crazy? 71 freaking KG! All this time, I thought I was losing weight, but apparently, I’ve been gaining more than necessary. A bit wild if you ask me because 18-year-old and 22-year-old Tosin would never believe this!

I was body shamed for so long because of how skinny I looked, I would literally be warned by my ex-friends not to go out when it’s raining so the rain doesn’t wash me away lol! I spent years hating my body until I finally learned to love it—because the God who made me doesn’t make mistakes.

But look at me now… weighing 71kg in the month of November, 2024. Crazy shit! But we’re losing this weight lol because it’s not me and you✋🏽

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Another goal I set out for myself was to read this year. Like READ A LOT! And read did I do! I had initially set a goal of reading 10 books before the year runs out. 10 because I didn’t trust myself enough to read more than that 10 but hey, guess who is on her 20th book? Surpassed my goal and had to adjust it again and again.

I am so proud of myself.

Reading is so much fun, especially when you’re doing it with your girls and gushing over the characters, plots, and the writer. Joined a book club at the beginning of the year and I want to believe that’s what pushed me to open a book and read. Sadly, they threw me out of the group last week for posting a spoiler, hurts a lot but God pass them✋🏽😭

I decided to give men another chance this year—you know, dip my toes into the dating pool. But let me tell you, that pool is full of reasons to stay single. These men gave me more reason to stay where I am. Hian! If I go into details about what I’ve gone through at the hands of men recently, you guys will cry for me lmao

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One other thing I did recently was grow.

Over the years, I’ve struggled to accept my past self—the version of me who was playful, did embarrassing things, took cringe-worthy pictures, tried too hard to fit in, wanted to be loved by everyone, laughed even while I was hurting, and let people into my life who didn’t have my best interests at heart—all because I wanted to make them happy.

I hated all those parts of me because it reminded me of how pathetic I was, how easily accessible I was, and how much I accepted people’s faults when they wouldn’t do the same for me.

I would look at my old pictures and cringe, I would remember some of my embarrassing moments and pray for the earth to swallow me but this year, I thought deeply about all these, I can’t be on the pursuit of self-love and acceptance while running away from my embarrassing past.

All those things I did are all a part of me, not someone else’s. The first step to self-love is accepting your faults. All those moments shaped the Tosin of today. Would I undo them if I could? Absolutely. But I can’t. So instead, I’m learning to love the me they created—flaws, growth, and all.

I don’t look back anymore and cringe, or pray for the earth to swallow me. Growth if you ask me!

Finally, I’ve been listening to A LOT of music. A lot of Afrobeats actually. (Spotify Wrapped is coming soon, I can’t wait) A lot of Nigerian artists released albums this year. I am going to list my favorite albums from my top favorite to my least favorite.

• Wizkid’s MORAYO - Y’all know this was definitely going to come first because hello? I have been so obsessed with Morayo since it came out and Wiz did a thing with this one. It’s surpassing Made in Lagos as my “new Wiz” favorite and that says a lot.

  I love every track on this album, but my current top two are Troubled Mind and Piece of My Heart.

  Honorable mentions: Bad Girl (ft. Asake), A Million Blessings, and Après Minuit (ft. Tiakola).

• Rema’s HEIS - I’m not Rema’s biggest fan, as you all know, but he pulled me in with this one. I was looping it for weeks after it came out. Someone on Twitter said it’s an album for mad people, and I agree because no be today I don dey craze (*raises two hands in the hair screaming ozeba ozeba ozeba).

  My top two are Ozeba and HEHEHE. Honorable mentions: Azaman.

• Ayra Starr’s THE YEAR I TURNED 21 - Love… love… love my girl so much and yes, I was also obsessed with TYIT21 when it came out. I would listen to it while doing chores or bathing. Sad that it didn’t receive as much love as it should but believe me Ayra when I say TYIT21 went platinum in my household. My top two are Orun and The Kids Are Alright.

  Honorable mentions: Goodbye (ft Asake) and Jazzy’s Song.

• Tems’s BORN IN THE WILD - Tems you will forever be famous and the world will know your name. This album was everything I wanted. No one does RnB like her in Nigeria by the way, which is why I understand why most Nigerians might not like her music, it’s not something they’re used to, but I do, Tems and I love you. My top two are Love Me Jeje and Me & U. Honorable mentions: Burning and Wickedest.

• Asake’s LUNGU BOY - This one had to grow on me ngl. He went a different style with this album and I believe it’s to show everyone how versatile he is as an artist. I love it because am all for artists showing their art and letting you know they understand a thing or two about music. They know it’s not always about dropping hits but also about appealing to a diverse community of people and enjoying what they do. My top two are MMS and Fuji Vibe.

  Honorable mentions: Active (ft Travis Scott) and Wave (ft Central Cee).

These are the albums I’ve been listening to recently. I believe other Nigerian artists dropped an album this year. They can go collect their reviews from Twitter😒

Okay, that’s it. I need to find something to eat.

No promises, but I’ll do my best not to ghost you guys for this long again. I’ve missed writing—and missed seeing you all read my work. So many of you reached out to check up on me, and I just want to say thank you—you’re the absolute sweetest.

Love you,

Joy.