Talking Stage Sucks

He probably deleted my number or they stole his phone or they stole his car or or...

One day we are going to talk about the state of Nigeria and how we all slowly adapt to changes that don’t benefit us, or rather, drain us financially, mentally, and every “lly” in the dictionary but until then let’s talk about something more interesting.

I don’t know about you but I find it crazy how talking stage doesn’t go beyond one week anymore or if you’re lucky, three weeks and that’s where it ends, you move on to the next. Like you start talking to someone today and before the week ends, that’s it for both of you.

Do you ever sit and wonder where it all went wrong or do you just move on and say “onto the next?” I know for I fact I don’t. I think?

No one wants to be in a talking stage for more than two weeks, no because what are you guys talking about? Two weeks, people! If you're still in a talking stage after three months, congrats, you're in a full-blown relationship. I mean, you guys are now married with four kids, you might as well have a mortgage and a minivan at that point.

Okay, back to what I was saying…

I know adulthood smells like responsibility and not fresh-baked bread because everyone is so busy and occupied that no one has time to be having a “Have you eaten” conversation every day like it’s so exhausting. I saw this TikTok of this babe where she wrote a “dating” CV about herself on her notes app so she could easily forward it to the next “talking stage” because repeating your age, hobbies, likes, and dislikes every darn time is just so stressful and you know what? She’s so real for that!

But hold up! What if, in our quest to avoid boring conversations, we've accidentally swiped left on our future soulmate? I know you are about to say fate will bring them back to you *side eye

This is not a kdrama my friend!

That sounded so aggressive, sorry.

Why did I start this conversation again? Ahh yes!

I just randomly remembered this guy who asked for my number late in the night while I was strolling in my estate and has since refused to call me. It’s been weeks!!!! Why am I mad about it? Thank you for asking that question.

I never actually saw his face because it was dark obviously but boy, was he tall! I don’t mean giant tall, I mean normal tall, beautiful tall, and the way he smelled… girl! he got me! he damn got me! With the way his physique looked, it was only natural that he had a pretty face. I do love a pretty face!

Gave him my number and acted like I didn’t care ‘cause you know… girl math.

I appreciate the effort he took to walk down from his car, run back to me, and ask for my number. Now that I think about it, he could have just driven back like what’s the stress in just reversing? Anyway, I do appreciate a gentleman who loves exercising his legs once in a while.

Now, there are two possibilities:

1. They stole his phone

2. They stole his car or he… no, that is too dark.

Because my guy didn’t even give us the chance to have a “talking stage.” Like we didn’t get to know each other. I wanted to tell him about the state of the world and ask him if he’s obsessed with plantain like the rest of Nigerians. (That would be a -1 in my books because why are you obsessed with plantain? It’s just plantain.) I need him to know I’m funny sometimes. Damn, he would have loved me. I hope he doesn’t call me someday, I would have moved on with my fictional boyfriends. (I have like 15 and I rotate them daily depending on my mood.)

I’m lying, please call me!

Should I talk about the other talking stage where we bonded so well, became best friends even, and then he ghosted me after a few weeks, came back with an “I get tired of people” shit. Wo, ogbeni! THEY WILL GET TIRED OF YOU.

Like I am such a nice person, why do these things keep happening to me? Maybe God is saving the last for the best for me or the best for the last? how do they say this shit again? Y’all get me sha

I could go into details about some of the talking stages I’ve been in the last two years but most of them ended up getting blocked or deleted like I do not have time for your nonsense.

The recent one is currently posting Nigeria politics on his WhatsApp stories. That is too much wahala for me.

Maybe love isn't just for me like love demands patience and that is one thing I lack right now.

Considering giving that aboki that sells tomatoes at my estate junction a chance, he does add extra tomatoes for me and that’s a lot with the economic state of the country now and you know what they say… love can come from anywhere.

I’m not even joking, once you guys see me inside keke around Gwarimpa, you already know wassup.

I might just start a series called Tosin and her Tomatoes Man so y’all know I’m serious.

Because I’m trying to get my life in order so I don’t end up eating only tomatoes for the rest of my life, I’ve been listening to this beautiful podcast called Just Delusional, by Nawal Sari. It’s soothing and relatable. Please check it out when you have the time❤️

My album for the week is from my best boy, Jungkook called Golden! It’s a 100/10 album if you ask me. You will love it, I promise.

Thank you for reading.

See you next week.

Love,

Joy.