Literally!
First of all, massive thanks for receiving my “Talking Stage Sucks” newsletter so well. I got all your responses in my DM lmao. Try dey comment for here too fgs
You all are really the sweetest. I’m so grateful.
Okay, let’s dive in…
For the past few weeks, I’ve been living with an uninvited forced neighbor. There has been a bird nesting in my bathroom window.
She’s cute so I gave her the name “SKY”
Seun suggested I chase her away so she doesn’t excrete on my bathroom window thereby making my room smell but because I have the fear of God, I couldn’t. Like that is a cute-looking bird building its house on my bathroom window, it must have been tough searching for an apartment to forcefully inhabit for months before finally finding one. Mine! It would be wicked of me to chase her away. Besides we've got a mutual understanding. We respect each other's privacy; she flies off during my showers, and I avoid the bathroom during her nap time. It's a bird-human roommate code. (Judge me all you want but idk. Maybe? just maybe… allow us? Yes, thank you.)
Back to the matter…
For some reason, I had a feeling that my neighbor, Sky, was pregnant because she spends most of her time, sleeping. The only time she is awake is when she goes to look for food or gets a cute visit from this other bird (I’m guessing is her man, whew even a bird is in a relationship… I-)
Fast forward to Monday, my neighbor has gone missing. I wasn’t bothered at first because she sabi waka sometimes but it was beginning to look suspicious. Later on, I decided to check my window because I could see something moving. I thought my girl was back. Lo and behold, two bouncing baby birds. My neighbor has given birth o. I was happy. I was filled with joy even, knowing I partook in the safe delivery of these baby birds. I provided shelter.
Mama Ibeji pulled a Houdini on me. It’s been three days and I can’t find my neighbor, so I’m here thinking:
She is either a deadbeat mother and has left her kids for me. Why?
Or she has d-worded.
At this point, I had to ask Google if this was a normal thing in the bird kingdom. Do they give birth and leave their newborn babies to figure out the world for themselves? I mean they were just born a few minutes ago, that’s wickedness.
Google said, “Contrary to commonly held belief, parent birds will not readily abandon their young due to the smell of human contact, their sense of smell is fairly poor and their instinct to care for their young is very strong.”
You see? I was right, they don't leave their babies, so where is Mama Ibeji? Who did she leave these twins for? Me? Is she mad? Aunty if you don’t come and carry your children! Do I look like I’m cut out for bird parenting?
Seun assumes that something must have happened to her on the way back but girl, fight whatever that is and come get your babies. I did not give you free shelter for you to leave those birds for me.
But now that I think about it, if she doesn’t come back anytime soon, it might be the end for them cause they need food and water and breastmilk. Do they…? Nevermind!
What do you feed infant babies?
So this is a letter to the bird, Sky girl, if you’re seeing this, COME AND CARRY YOUR CHILDREN. I’m not doing again. And you had better not be dead! You will rise up dfkm
On to more captivating drama, I saw Funke Akindele's new series “SHE MUST BE OBEYED” over the week and I want to talk about it briefly.
We all know when Funke comes out with a drama, it’s always a masterpiece, like she always delivers!
“SHE Must be Obeyed” is a drama series that is centered on the life of a female Afrobeats artist who is loved by the public and is widely known for being kind and loving to her fans, staff, and colleagues but is secretly, obsessed with fame, a horrible employer to her workers, neglects her family, a clout chaser, and an online troll to her colleagues. The drama basically touched every aspect of fame and the obsession that comes with it, but because I don’t want to drop more spoilers than necessary I won’t be saying much.
Shout out to the casting director because every actor bodied their role to the bone. Whew! Stellar performances, and jaw-dropping plot twists.
Now my problem with the series is “that” ending! Kept my heart in my hands while watching because the suspense was killing and I thought it would all end in episode five but no? What do you mean by “watch out for SHE season two?” Why couldn’t they just make it a seven-episode drama? Like where was my happy ending? My closure? How long do I have to wait to see SHE get what she deserves? I need the internet to know how vile and wicked she is. Is Pedro dead? Did Adeaze get her freedom? What? What? What? I need answers, not more suspense.
I understand why she has to hold us down with the suspense but… but is it really necessary? I did not watch SHE do all those evil things to her staff, family, PR company, and colleagues from episodes one to five only to be hit with a “Watch out for season 2” like don’t play with me, sis!
That aside, I loved the plot twist and how everything just kept getting crazy with each episode.
I will not be waiting, or rather, watching season two instead I am going to call Aunty Funke myself and ask her how the drama ended. I choose to not be stressed! How am I going to get her number? That is a very beautiful question.
This is your cue to check out “SHE must be obeyed” on prime video. I enjoyed watching it and I have a feeling you would too.
And to wrap things up, I'm gushing over my favorite album of the year – RENAISSANCE by Queen Bey herself. This album is practically my life anthem, and I'm predicting it'll top my Spotify charts when Spotify releases our yearly report card. Give it a listen; it might just be the soundtrack you didn't know you needed.
Today is black Friday, please go out and shop, buy those skincare products at 20% discounts today else you will regret it. Yes, you will.
Signing off because, well, I can. Enjoy the weekend, grab those Black Friday deals, and Mama Ibeji, seriously, come fetch your kids!
Thank you for reading.
See you next time.