we teach girls to shrink themselves...
Her name was Uloma...
"We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller... You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important."
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Her Name Was Uloma.
She was the most beautiful in the room.
In any gathering.
In the community.
But beauty was the least of what made her extraordinary.
She smiled loudly because she was told smiles bring people in.
That they make you seem warm, welcoming.
She loved loudly because she was told love is meant to be beautiful.
That love is kind.
That loving others makes them love you back.
She was respectful because she was told respect is reciprocal.
She attracted men.
And sometimes, the women.
They wanted to be close to her.
To have her.
To be her.
And for a while, she let them.
Because she was told it was easier to be loved that way.
That people will accept you if you talk less and smile more.
If you never take up too much space.
If you listen and obey.
If you remember that your voice must always come second.
She was told never to scream, even when she was being hurt.
That a woman must be quiet in her suffering.
That dignity is silence.
And when a man hit her, she was told to hide her face.
That it was her disgrace to bear.
That maybe, just maybe… she had done something to deserve it.
And she believed all of this.
Until she saw her strength reflected in the women before her.
The women beside her.
The women after her.
Until she realized that in a sea of men, her voice mattered the most.
That she was never the one meant to wear the garment of shame.
It belonged to those who had hurt her.
No more shrinking.
No more suffering in silence.
No more waiting for permission to exist fully.
She was not a victim.
She was a survivor.
A fighter.
She is a woman.
And she is not alone.
She carries history in her hands.
The strength of every woman who came before her,
The dreams of every girl who will come after.
She is not weak, though they tried to make her small.
And she is not a shadow.
She is light.
She is fire.
She is a force.
She builds, she leads, she nurtures, she fights.
She bends, but she does not break.
She is the roots that hold the earth steady.
And today, on International Women’s Day,
We do not just celebrate her.
We honor her.
We listen to her.
We stand beside her.
Because when she rises.
We all rise.
Happy International Women’s Day to every beautiful woman out there.
You’re way more beautiful than you see, and way more stronger than you think.
Never let anyone dim your light!🤍