(God looking at you from heaven as you pick a tall guy over the taller one he created for you)
Imagine how disappointed God must have been when we did not marry the missing rib he created for us because we do not like how they ate.
On Love Letters
I remember the first time a boy gave me a love letter. The Third World War happened in my house, and it felt like I had committed treason. This story is a funny one, and I am going to tell you all about it.
So there was this boy that may or may not have been crushing on me in church. He would foolishly go to his school and tell everyone we were dating, and I did not know anything about him. His mouth carries words, and I heard about it. Luckily for him, I was naive at that age with no sense and thought it was cute that someone liked me. He looked fine then. My heart was screaming in approval that I had finally found my first boyfriend. We were checking out each other as the foolish kids that we were. To make it all romantic, he decided to ask me out, with a love letter which I saw coming. I knew it would happen, and it did happen. He gave me my first letter after the evening service in church.
Now the highlight of this story is we were not the only ones crushing on each other. My dad was also crushing on us but with a different meaning. He had been following everything happening with his FBI eyes(what a sharp man), somehow, he knew the boy was going to give me the love letter that night, and he kept watching (Instead of listening to the word of God). After the service ended, I was outside waiting for my dad, and my supposed boyfriend came with the love letter. Just as I was about to collect it, someone snatched it from his hands, MY DAD. Fear ran through my body like water running down a waterfall! I prayed for the world to end there. He asked the boy who he was and all, which I can't remember cause is faint in my head.
Anyways, we went back home, and he reported me to my mum, the flogging I got from her was astronomical. I thought I had done something other than collecting a love letter from a boy. My dad even had to come to beg her to stop with the beating. It was not funny.
But then, they must have thought the beating did something because I still ended up dating that boy🚶🏽♀️
p.s my mum is reading this…
Sadly, I could not read the content of the letter, which I suppose would probably have been stupid😭
Love and romance in Nigeria are weird, especially while I was growing up. I thought if I kissed a boy, I would get pregnant. It made sense in my head until I sat down to think about it. How would kissing a boy get me pregnant? Is saliva supposed to make babies? It made no sense.
How I grew up in the “romance” world is a hilarious tale. It could fill a book.
Tips for a healthy relationship:
Don't date
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Obsession for this week
Whoever thought it was a good idea to mix chocolate and coconut did a good job because this slaps, except for the coughing that comes after.
I wonder where your other siblings were, when you was been tattooed 😅 all over with cane?
By the way, how do you come up with those tips 🌞👍🏽?
The cough that comes after eating bounty!!! I can relate!!!! Lool Omoo growing up in an african home is never easy o, they warned me from boys and all, that they must not see me talking to a guy and me I decided to follow girl😂 I didn’t even know that was worse… Long story short; in secondary school a friend of mine introduced me to another friend of hers in another school and that one was a lesbian, one thing led to another she confessed love to me, omoo we even kissed 😂 my aunty stumbled on my chats with the girl, wo they beat that spirit out of my body, I can never forget the experience, my dad even went to her school to report her. And me I told them that since they said I shouldn’t follow boys, I thought following girl was good😂😅